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vanity of vanities! All is vanity...
What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done;
there is nothing new under the sun

Ecclesiastes 1:2, 9

circles

chen-en is back for 2 weeks. we checked out Sripraphai together. i still think that my favorite thai at wondee is better. anyway, today wasnt about the food. surely, it is about us two foodies who will go all the way to the corners of nyc in the name of food. but the experience would not have been the same if it was not with her.

ok im going round in circles. the bottomline is that i still miss her. took me a while to get used to her not being around. just by spending one afternoon with her, i am going to take 2 weeks to get over it. she mentioned js. and to my own horror, im still pretty much not over him yet.

maybe the pms blues are getting to me. had the most horrific cramps till date. that caused my appetite. and because of that, im having gastric pains now. and because of the pain, im so sulky and unsociable.

this entry is about things going round in circles. sheesh.

zzz

im soooo boooored yawwwwwwn

sneaky man

i think the person sitting in front of me is such a sneaky character.

he s not that nice to me on days that vp is not in. he is usually swamped with work; either he is slow or he truly has too much for himself, i dont know. so he has no time for me and will brush off my queries. however, in front of the vp, he ll elaborate on stuff and said, oh i have discussed with grace, blahblahblah.. what a creep!

and how he will act on stuff that vp asks, draft emails to the whole world and in it, dictate my action. pooof, this is so sickening!

obviously, he feels that im a threat to him. if not, why these kind of defensive actions?

i truly believe in good karma and retribution.

i miss my family

gosh i m missing my family so much. why am i not allowing myself to miss them?

I CANT WAIT FOR 9/30/06!!!

so much to it

pretty interesting article from nytimes about organic milk. these were the key points i carried away from the article.

organic milk — which comes from cows that have not been treated with hormones or antibiotics

Aurora’s cows do not spend any significant time roaming pastures and eating fresh grass; instead they live on a diet high in grains. -- i see, so cows have to roam pastures and eat fresh grass.

But they say their animals are healthy and contented. -- gee, how the personified cows "contented"... hmm..

Many organic farmers say grass feeding is essential for organic dairy production because it is part of a cow’s natural behavior. Milk from grass-fed cows, they say, is also higher in beneficial fatty acids than milk from cows fed grain, making it more nutritious. -- part of cow's natural behavior. i have never thought of things that way.. i think im urbanized.

the company is overtaxing its animals by milking them three times a day instead of twice, which is the norm at organic farms. -- overtaxing.. hmm...

“Our animals are outside all year long; they’re never locked into barns.” -- out all year long, just like my up close and personal encounter with them in appenzell.

keeping it up

i can feel myself sinking this week. second week since im back from my vacation. perhaps because i have started to study and house hunting is simply driving me crazy. i kept having to remind myself "life is beautiful" cos it truly is. but i realized that as i get back to the norm of things, the norm of things get to me.

i wish i can blame it on pms. friday is usually a good day for me. it started well, however the house hunting in the middle of the day got to me. next, i had intended to stay back after work to study before heading for the show at 9.35pm. i was so miserable while in office that i made an irrational move: i grabbed a mocha frapp and espresso brownie from starbucks. this was something that i would never do if im in a clear state of mind; those fats and calories were just so hard to burn off! in the end, the treats did not lift me up but left me bloated and guilt-striken instead.

checked out max brenner late into the night ( i have just returned and am blogging now) so im fat fat fat now. got to go to gym tm.

..............................

going round in circles

i always managed to screw myself up.

the resentment for the person next door is building up. this is unfair to myself because it should not be the case. on the other hand, i try to consider if im too anal since im quite a bitch to certain people. i cant conclude; i only know that i do not wish to continue staying with her anymore. the act-cute taiwanese voice, mixed with weird american accent is simply beating the shit out of me. definitely an unfair statement to make, however, i have already passed judgement on her and there is no turning back for me.

so the question is if i should move or find a replacement. i dont know.

next, not sure how i got involved with a and s. their plan to find a place together did not seem to be materializing due to different budgets. i ended up looking for something together with a, as it is not possible to share my current place with a with the imminent arrival of his other half. suddenly, it hit me that i could suggest to s to stay with me, which would imply that i need not move after all. but if i do this, im turning my back on a. in any case, i told a what i was thinking and he said he would be cool about it.

i tried convincing myself that it will not be my fault if i gain from this, meaning that i end up with s and a has to look for alternatives. this is so because i only came into the picture when things were not working out for them. and at the point in time when i was hunting around with a, i have not made up my mind.

does anyone understand what im talking about? im always stuck in situation like this. damn. cant concentrate on my studying and time is running out. screwed screwed big time!!

US Open 2006

rooting for the underdog hewitt

thanks to andy, i got to catch some live action. maria sharapova, andy roddick and lleyton hewitt. not a bad experience, been there done that. so much for the footlong hotdog that cost $5.25. 

9.1 to 9.3 appenzell

up close and personal with the cows

first real hike. was totally awesome, plus one foot in mud water and one fall on the bum. lukas has some cool friends- daniel and stefan and their gfs. daniel is someone that you will hang out with if you want to have a lengthy and meaning conversation. stefan is cute, minus the not-so-white teeth. i would think he s a typical european who puffs. however, i dint see him light up so i guess my assumption may be invalid.

8.28 to 8.30 berlin

Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe

it was a nice treat for myself. i was giving myself many treats, on the account that it was my bday- a trip to europe, a LV wallet and a jcrew skirt that i wanted to buy but dint. but things got pretty tiring in the end. it was not that fun after all when i had no one to take pictures for me.

a revelation when spending so much time with myself. Up in the restaurant up on Fernsehturm (yes, a nice meal on the account that it was my bday), i wasnt feeling self-conscious at all. while in the line to get into the restaurant, everyone was in groups- groups of 2, 3, 4, 5 and blah. when the seater got to me, i shouted, 1! oh yeah, its me, myself and i.

8.26 to 8.28 hamburg

three of us

i believe that lily does not like to give hugs. hence, i shall not use this to gauge our friendship.

i have never had such a relaxing vacation before. on the 2nd day, sun 8.27, i slept past 1pm. im sure part of it was due to the jet lag. however, i dint feel myself panicking.

it was leisure time spent in hamburg- strolling around the city center, biking in the woods to the river, biking to the golf course, playing sudoku.

i passed the chocolates to her mum yesterday. i could feel how much they are missing her. i used it to relate to how much my mum is going through. im sorry mum but i promise that i will go home once im ready.

 

nostalgia

before they make way for fall

auditors are in for interim. i was one of them. its a de ja vu feeling and im not holding it well.

fall is the time for nostalgia and some romance.

i muaah you

love-hate relationship

to do:
- ease back to studying mode
- upload europe trip pictures
- blog about europe trip
- write about me and friends
- housing issue

im panicking because i see that i have a lot of studying to do and i have no time.

breathe. new york's air is good. yesterday was the 1st friday night spent in ny after spending 4 previous ones away. at the corner of 9th ave and 57th st, walking back from the photos party at dana's, i suddenly felt so much love for this city. it was nice to see much civilization still when the time was nearing midnight. truly, it is a city that never sleeps. i muaah you, new york!