you who talk in circles- get out of here!

i really hate people who talk in circles. more often than not, the reason why they did that was to excuse themselves for things that were not done. so this IT guy im dealing with, he has the habit of doing this and it really really gets on my nerves. today was the second incident. i was certainly not too kind to him in my language. he was going on about what should be done and why and blah and shit. i simply cut him off and said- well, the bottomline is that it is not done right?? i dint try to be too politically correct and im pretty sure that my body language showed that im displeased. this was confirmed because he came by my desk subsequently and tried to resolve the issue.

the first time was a few weeks back and i used really brutal language too. i told him very directly what should not be done to my new machine, because he was trying things out. he dint know what to do. i felt like a complete bitch and was overcome by guilt that i tried to soften my tone subsequently.

but i dint exactly want to control myself today because i really hate people who excuse themselves like this. i wld rather he told me in my face that i shld seek help from the helpdesk and not make excuses for himself.

st vincent de paul

there was a church service to kick off st vincent de paul society in my church just now. the deacon gave a very good homily.

when you feed the hungry, is there a hunger in you that needs to be satisfied? a hunger for love?
when you dressed the naked, is there a nakedness in you that needs to be covered? is it greed? is it ___?

he had two other sentences but i forgot-damnit.

the one on hunger strikes a note in me. i have never really looked into myself when i volunteer. it is just something that i really enjoy. this homily gives another perspective into this. maybe volunteering is a reflecction of my life. im filling up things that are missing in my life. this is a good reflection.

have you noticed?

part of the full arch

i looked out of the window seat when the plane was still taxi-ing. we were 8th in line. i looked back and saw many planes in line. it was really a sight. i wished i had a shot of that. its cute to see the planes lining up to take off.

i had the window seat when flying to toronto. the plane finally went above the clouds. i looked out and up and wondered- how does the end of the sky look like?

i looked out of the window seat during the flight and wondered- how come i have never seen any other planes flying nearby? how big is the sky?

i was at niagara falls and i saw many rainbows. there was 1 and then there were 2, side by side. the best part was that i saw the full arch. i have never seen a full rainbow- it makes a semi-circle.

i saw the moon from the plane's window on my flight back to nyc. i havent noticed that before. the moon was right in front of me. it was very cool. tues was 9/25- mooncake festival. it was a full moon.

my current love

my current love

so i popped by canada just like that. saw the cheap ticket on tues, booked it on wed, called my cousin on thurs and flew on sat. got to celebrate spontaneity right?

matthew was the star. i had so much JOY just by staring at him and talking to him. he s only 6 weeks old but believe it or not, he was yakking away with me. we were giggling away so much!!! oh man, i miss him so much now.

my baked ziti

my baked ziti

was working out on fri and rachel ray was cooking baked ziti in her show. that stuck with me and i attempted it just now.

so gooood! and it was still good without one of the ingredients- butter.

my fridge never had butter or whole milk before. i couldnt bring myself to buy the butter. i/4 tbsp gives you 110 calories, with 12% being fat. and a food article that i read recently informed me that "though most (celebrity) chefs fail to admit, a tbsp of butter into their dishes always does the trick". my heart skipped a beat.

into the wild

into the wild

a very thought provoking movie- sean penn's adaption of jon krakauer's bestseller of a true story of christopher mccandless, aka alex supertramp. his search for true happiness and freedom.

he who did not seek so much of human connection as compared to what nature can provide him with, the movie ended with him jotting- "happiness only real when shared". how true indeed.

i dont belong here anymore

i dont seem to get meaningful conversations any more.

over lunch with 2 coworkers who are married, we talked about weekend plans. single me is supposed to shed light on their pretty mundane lives. i dint have much to offer- its a city life afterall, even if its new york. they started talking about their husbands, other peoples' lives, how most of their friends are divorced. they went on to say its not something they dont see happening to themselves down the road. one is married close to 20 years, the other just over 2 years. not sure which part of me got provoked, i simply exclaimed that is not the way. it probably sounded damn idealistic cos both said i dont understand and wont know until im in the situation. i continued to defend my stand and interupted them. to me, they dont know what they are talking about. because they do not have god in their lives. it was as simple as that to me.

over the trip in chicago, not sure how the conversation with morgan and friends led from their health insurance to the pills. not viagra but contraceptive pills, since all were girls apart from one. one after one started chipping in about where or how you can get them. i tuned off. i remembered reading in the papers about the % of students affected by the change. the statistics were stunning. i remembered feeling disgusted, by the %, as well as horrified. am i in denial? am i alone in my own world? is this the lesser of the 2 evils, the other being abortion. anyway, i dint voice my opinion- these people were strangers afterall.

but this is the lives of everyone. its very disillusional. i feel out of this world, as if i dont belong here anymore.