introduction to myself

we have a quarterly newsletter and the new hires have to contribute an article about themselves. well, not a full page advertisement but well, describe yourself. i hate things like that. i never really know what to say, how to say; if i should sound like a typical someone, or try to sound funny and write like you are someone else. it is really not the simplest thing to do when you have to "write something about yourself". darn. it still has to be done. i was just only whining. ok so i have written something. i hope im not sounding artificial. just some random thoughts.

I will try to do justice to this space that I am given. Ahem - this is how it all began - Once upon a time,...

I am born and raised in Singapore. One day, New York came knocking on my door. I lived NY the way I had imagined it to be – working hard (unfortunately), jogging in Central Park (truly amazing), checking out restaurants (and ticking off Zagat top-50 list), going to the operas (just like in Pretty Woman), walking down the streets and appreciating the sights of beautiful people (the grid system is such a brilliant idea) or simply standing in Rockefeller Center and breathing in the air. I am sounding so self-absorbed in the life I have created for myself. Not really. I went on a mission trip to an orphanage in Nicaragua. I witnessed lives in a dump- yes people were living in “a place where refuse is dumped”. I learnt what humility means. I began to understand (more) that life is a little more than ____. Times went by and when I finally decided to kick my addiction to NY, I searched for a job back home and found ___. It felt like a perfect match. I look forward to more good times and of course, hard work (to be politically correct, heh, just kidding).

thoughts

3 weeks back and im not happy. well not that it s not unexpected but i know how life in spore will be like. there are changes from 3 years ago. the landscape and certain friends. but the root to things is my family. so its all familiar- the house, the mess, the non-access, the incovenience, the home-cooked meals,...

i posed this question to my mum today- will you be ok if i move out on my own? she said, for what? save that money. well, i pressed on and said, your disapproval is only the monetary concern? you dont care what the relatives will care (i dont care obviously)? she kinda nodded.
not that i want to move out but i hate the location. its too inconvenient. im at home now cos im too lazy to go out but im thinking if im living somewhere nearer to town, i wont be so bummed.

i dont know. sporean way of things- how true is that? am i really different or im just being bullshit. i dont want to conform. i want to be myself but i have to ease in to "the sporean way of things" right? ahh going in circles. so what can i do? the straits times did a report on returned overseas sporeans in spore. well most people have stayed out for >10 years. i think they will have so many more issues than me. and for the large part, most moved back because of their "aging parents". well, that s me too. seemed like there is no compromise in that aspect for me. my parents are here so to be with them, i have to be here. grace breathe grace. stop thinking of escaping. you were getting sick of nyc anyway. not that i dint like that place anymore but i was getting lonely.

blogging from singapore

this is my first entry since i have moved home. im still adapting. this is my second week home. i spent the first week almost entirely at home with my mum which was good. quality time.

so this week, i have started work. the real life has just begun right? im like a mouse getting lost in the maze right now. the cbd is kinda being transformed. new buildings, new underground shops, ie more conformity, overpopulation, sunny, ie heat rashes for me, ..

so im trying to set up a routine for myself. and i need to get a new hp, credit card(s), bank account(s), gym membership, shoes, cable, organic food.. strange that i feel so lost at home. things are not too real at the moment. somehow i still see images/scenes from ny, then i ll slap myself back to reality saying, gee that s not an image from singapore, where am i, ooooh, im in singapore now. its really very strange.

and there are no more eye candies. not one single cutie in sight. not one.
and the women- let me give them some credit. all of them take the effort to dress up (unlike me, with no make-up)- the perfect hair/curls, the perfect dress, the skinny frame, the try-hard-to-look-cute look. but atlas, they all look the same. bt and i were going to the restroom outside kino in ngee ann city. out came 3 gals. after they passed us, i grabbed bt and exclaimed- OMG! they looked the same!!!! its a shame. why are they conforming to a certain look?? seriously, im dying. well i think im comparing things to ny but bt and suzy knew what i was talking about. their advice for me- get used to it. this is sg.

i should write while such things are invoking strong reactions from me right now.