some thoughts

somehow no urge to blog since i moved home. i have been scribbling some random thoughts in my journal but that s about it. perhaps life back home is less exciting. wake up, go to work, come home after work for homecooked food, tv, sleep, wake up...

am i happier? i met up w yx on friday and she asked me if given a chance now to go back to nyc, would i do it? i dint say yes in a heartbeat.. i struggled to give her an answer. not sure but there are some holdbacks now. there is a time and place for everything. i am glad i spent the last few years away from home. i would do it all over again, given im still 25. but now that the big 3 is looming, somehow, i dont want to go back and lead such a bachelorette lifestyle. i mean, the nyc lifestyle, how much longer can it sustain me? hard work, brunches, fine dining, operas, walking the streets, ... im not sure if i would go back now. i mean, yes back to that kind of lifestyle and then, what s next? play for a few good years and head back home again?? doesnt make much sense right?...

talking to these people who have since returned from nyc, i think most are happy they are fetching a higher salary than would have been possible if they had not left the country. im happy for them but i dont want to busk in such delight like them. i dont think its sustainable.

the other drama unfolding with the gf. bad vibes about her from day 1. its not personal i think. just that she s complete opposite from me i think. and i question her ability to treat my parents (very) well. im over-protective of my parents. i cant imagine her living under the same roof as us because that would mean my parents have to cover all the extra housework. i dont trust her to know how to do or even want to do??! damn the situation. why cant it be like a fairy tale where there is no drama only peace and calm and love all around.