going round in circles

i always managed to screw myself up.

the resentment for the person next door is building up. this is unfair to myself because it should not be the case. on the other hand, i try to consider if im too anal since im quite a bitch to certain people. i cant conclude; i only know that i do not wish to continue staying with her anymore. the act-cute taiwanese voice, mixed with weird american accent is simply beating the shit out of me. definitely an unfair statement to make, however, i have already passed judgement on her and there is no turning back for me.

so the question is if i should move or find a replacement. i dont know.

next, not sure how i got involved with a and s. their plan to find a place together did not seem to be materializing due to different budgets. i ended up looking for something together with a, as it is not possible to share my current place with a with the imminent arrival of his other half. suddenly, it hit me that i could suggest to s to stay with me, which would imply that i need not move after all. but if i do this, im turning my back on a. in any case, i told a what i was thinking and he said he would be cool about it.

i tried convincing myself that it will not be my fault if i gain from this, meaning that i end up with s and a has to look for alternatives. this is so because i only came into the picture when things were not working out for them. and at the point in time when i was hunting around with a, i have not made up my mind.

does anyone understand what im talking about? im always stuck in situation like this. damn. cant concentrate on my studying and time is running out. screwed screwed big time!!