interaction

i need to understand
i dont want a negative confirmation

apart from the lingering issue that i have above, i watched three films today- babooska at moma and little miss sunshine and white castle at andy's place. the last two were hilarous.

i was at the homeless banquet today. was at my church to serve food to the supposedly homeless. they werent exactly as pitiful as i thought them to be. at least they did not stink like those sleeping on the streets or at the subway stations and many were dressed very well. i dint go there to check these people. it was a rewarding experience. not sure what im trying to get out by doing such ad hoc volunteerings. i like interaction i guess, especially with people varsely different from me.

and on friday, i skipped dinner with the sporeans to have dinner with cw. he broke his arm while snow-boarding. his bone practically broke into two pieces. im so glad that he is so upbeat about things. good thinking there. hopefully it was not just a front for me and for himself. when he walked me down, he said it felt like i was a social worker visiting a home-bound elderly. it definitely felt like that. i think i really enjoy bonding with friends on a personal level, to such extreme. am i weird? am i trying to occupy myself with things? its the freaking winter, i dont know what else i can do except hang out and hang out and chill and chill and rot and rot.

i am going to ask him out next weekend. not cw but that man. not a date but just to go out.

its late, im typing haphazardly. thoughts are flying all over. sleeping now, too tired.