angkor wat and children playing with waterim back from my cambodia trip. given my low level of excitement leading up to the trip, i think i reaped quite a fair bit from it.
the initial few days werent that fantastic. somehow getting into the routine of things was doable but i dint get excited. all the paintings were in the morning. painting was therapeautic for me- strokes after strokes, they calmed me, even though my mind was usually a blank sheet of paper. but given that i was in my own space, i enjoyed that. come afternoon, i had to prepare for lessons. well, i know i dont truly enjoy teaching. though i think i did a fair job, it is not my cup of tea. rather, the time spent chilling at the table with the breeze blowing, that was good for my soul. there is no noise, apart from conversations. you only get that when you are in a village, away from all the buzz. i miss that now. even while typing away now, i have itunes on..
meal times were always good. i dint mind the food at all. pretty much the kind of food that i will eat. mostly veggies with minimum meat. and of course my doggie...
perhaps the debriefs at night were the best. doing them in the dark, that was first for me. in exchange for bites, we got the sky blanketed with stars. that was really a gift. the only other time i saw the sky full of stars were in PA during the falling water trip. i dint expect stars on this trip so it was definitely a delightful bonus.
towards the end, i grew accustomed to the days. i appreciate the simplicity life can bring and im glad i can still enjoy such things. perhaps that is what im searching for without myself knowing. i enjoyed having him around. somehow he is the center of attention. i have never liked fighting for such things. i chose to walk away. i think that was what i did during the last dinner. i just walked out saying i wanted to check out the streets. i needed a breather actually. well he came out looking for xy perhaps. im not sure. but the breather did me good.
im not thinking logically now. the ticks do not add up. even if they do, they are on the wrong column of my list. or am i actually alright to settle for something less? probably i will calm down after a few more days and life will be back to a monotonous one, with month-end closings and back-and-forth exchanges with dumb people on the other side of the globe.
the initial few days werent that fantastic. somehow getting into the routine of things was doable but i dint get excited. all the paintings were in the morning. painting was therapeautic for me- strokes after strokes, they calmed me, even though my mind was usually a blank sheet of paper. but given that i was in my own space, i enjoyed that. come afternoon, i had to prepare for lessons. well, i know i dont truly enjoy teaching. though i think i did a fair job, it is not my cup of tea. rather, the time spent chilling at the table with the breeze blowing, that was good for my soul. there is no noise, apart from conversations. you only get that when you are in a village, away from all the buzz. i miss that now. even while typing away now, i have itunes on..
meal times were always good. i dint mind the food at all. pretty much the kind of food that i will eat. mostly veggies with minimum meat. and of course my doggie...
perhaps the debriefs at night were the best. doing them in the dark, that was first for me. in exchange for bites, we got the sky blanketed with stars. that was really a gift. the only other time i saw the sky full of stars were in PA during the falling water trip. i dint expect stars on this trip so it was definitely a delightful bonus.
towards the end, i grew accustomed to the days. i appreciate the simplicity life can bring and im glad i can still enjoy such things. perhaps that is what im searching for without myself knowing. i enjoyed having him around. somehow he is the center of attention. i have never liked fighting for such things. i chose to walk away. i think that was what i did during the last dinner. i just walked out saying i wanted to check out the streets. i needed a breather actually. well he came out looking for xy perhaps. im not sure. but the breather did me good.
im not thinking logically now. the ticks do not add up. even if they do, they are on the wrong column of my list. or am i actually alright to settle for something less? probably i will calm down after a few more days and life will be back to a monotonous one, with month-end closings and back-and-forth exchanges with dumb people on the other side of the globe.
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