thoughts

3 weeks back and im not happy. well not that it s not unexpected but i know how life in spore will be like. there are changes from 3 years ago. the landscape and certain friends. but the root to things is my family. so its all familiar- the house, the mess, the non-access, the incovenience, the home-cooked meals,...

i posed this question to my mum today- will you be ok if i move out on my own? she said, for what? save that money. well, i pressed on and said, your disapproval is only the monetary concern? you dont care what the relatives will care (i dont care obviously)? she kinda nodded.
not that i want to move out but i hate the location. its too inconvenient. im at home now cos im too lazy to go out but im thinking if im living somewhere nearer to town, i wont be so bummed.

i dont know. sporean way of things- how true is that? am i really different or im just being bullshit. i dont want to conform. i want to be myself but i have to ease in to "the sporean way of things" right? ahh going in circles. so what can i do? the straits times did a report on returned overseas sporeans in spore. well most people have stayed out for >10 years. i think they will have so many more issues than me. and for the large part, most moved back because of their "aging parents". well, that s me too. seemed like there is no compromise in that aspect for me. my parents are here so to be with them, i have to be here. grace breathe grace. stop thinking of escaping. you were getting sick of nyc anyway. not that i dint like that place anymore but i was getting lonely.