its a secretive world

im surrounded by people who say the following-
"let me tell you a secret. promise that you keep it to yourself."
"whatever we say stays at the table ok?? they are secrets."

well, i definitely want to be in the loop and i want to be everyone's best friend so that i can get them to confide in me. and well, i am a really good confidante so far. i have promised not to divulge the so-called secrets and i have been a really good girl by keeping them to myself for years, till the secretive period expires.

but what a stupid word this "secret" is. how can you tell somebody a secret? this sentence is oxymoronic. the free dictionary has defined it as "Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed". so what is the point of inventing this word "secret"?

anyway, its tiring to look secretive and promise to keep secrets and act all curious and interested. dont remember having to be so in nyc. is it the change in location? are pple here all like that or what?

i remembered that newyorkers were pretentious people but the funny thing is, i felt i could just be the way i want to be, just the way i want to act and behave and think. dint have to conform to expectations nor to norms nor to opinions. a few good liberating years.