galatians 5:18

i was very excited to discover there is a weekly lunchtime mass at victoria theater. last wednesday, there was a mini episode in the office and i was just feeling low with all the built up from the previous weeks and the economy gloom looming over. things are just not that good in general. was not struggling with my month-ends but i guess it was overall stuff that was looming over my head and sucking me dry. im beginning to dislike the culture of my company, how things are structured that made it rather competitive and political. how you have to appear to be contributing a lot, how you are part of the operating plan, how glorified your work is as compared to others. things being the way they are, i have to cover for someone else just because she s probably handling the more critical thing. and that being said, this eats into my time of doing the extras, the extras that count most in the eyes of the top. so its a struggle to be a team player and to shout, its not fair.

i dont really know how to handle it. it seemed that i shld just put in more hrs so that i cover my own extras since i dont have the time during working hrs as im covering for the other. somehow my body is reluctant and i havent had the power to fight against that.

with this backdrop, i was really happy to find god at the end of the tunnel yet again. going for the mass relieved some steam though the problem remains. its amazing how the bible can speak about things that are so true in my everyday life. weakness of the flesh vs the fruits of the spirit that im constantly earning for and working towards (i hope). its indeed a very difficult struggle.

galatians 5:18

works of the flesh
immorality
impurity
incentiousness
idolatry
sorcery
hatreds
rivalry
jealousy
outbusts of fury
acts of selfishness
dissensions
factions
occasions of envy
drinking bouts
orgies
and the likes

fruits of the Spirit
love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
generosity
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control

smile more

jy said "you should smile more"
i asked "is that in relation to me or a general remark?"
jy said "in general, all of us should smile more. ya grace, you hardly smile."

i will try harder. not that i dont already know. becoming a very moody person, very touchy, very easily frustrated, always in the-whole-word-is-dumb kind of mood. people in the office really gets to me many atimes. weird characters.

panicking

its monday perhaps that s why i feel so unwell and butterflies in stomach when i think of amt of work to go through and not looking forward at all have always been a happy worker amt of work doesnt get to me is this because i dont like the kind of work that im doing now or what monday blues i hope they certainly can kill

dining 4 at the halia

halia: 9/19 with the AM pple who were in the office for the 2 days meeting. im not in the know, i wldnt have known you can dine in the botanical gardens, apart from at au jardin les amis. so i shouldnt comment too much lest i get mocked at for being ignorant. anyway the meal wasnt so much for the meal right? corporate events are meant for networking and who is seating with who at which table. well i really dint see it that way. it wasnt such a bad dinner.

dining 3 at flutes at the fort

nibbling

flutes at the fort: 9/12 we were there for es' farewell part 2. i like the place- it felt like you were dining at your own balcony, in your bungalow. outdoor, with wooden floors and ceiling fans so it wasnt like a silly indoor carpeted bow tie dining experience. however the food disappointed badly. perhaps cos we went for the executive's set lunch? the tomato-mussels soup was fine, the main (some kind of australian fish) dint blow me away and dessert was the worst. i cant remember what it was but was overly sweet and felt like it was hanging out on the kitchen table far too long.

chloe was definitely the center of my attention till she fell asleep. even that was so cute.

dining 2 at morton's the steakhouse and ___

this was a happy hour on 9.11 for es' farewell part 1. at morton's the steakhouse in mandarin oriental. we had a nice cosy bar corner to ourselves. i think from 5 to 7pm, there was free flow of the steak mini-burger which was really a slab of fatty beef patty with mayo between 2 slices of untoasted bread. free flowing meaning the servers will come by every half hr with plates of the sandwiches and you were only allowed one at one time cos i was told to take a portion though i was not going to eat it.

seemed like its a pity im not a steak lover. i tried a bite for the sake of it cos you dont wanna miss out on this kind of free treats right? but i really dint like it. and i got sick by the thought of the carbs and calories and fats from the bread and mayo.

had the lychee margarita which was not bad but again, i dint finish it. it wasnt that nice after it was left chilling out by itself cos it turned unchilled. the interesting part was striking up the conversation with the dr who turned out to be quite an academic. not sure how to pass a judgement on him- he s very factual and logical when he talks, even when he is talking about past events relating to himself, he can sound very detached from himself. hmm..

walked over to DXO at esplanade? dont even remember that place becos it s not worth mentioning. just remembered the free flow of moet champagne courtesy of the guy who announced his resignation before toasting.

pardon my english in this post. i seemed to have personified my margarita and talking in very rhetoric way- "dr who turned out to be quite an academic"- gee drs are academics!

dining 1 at the white rabbit

started with some "fine" dining and i should jot them down since they arent that memorable. note that i had it as "fine" dining and not "fine dining". not memorable but been there and can strike off the list.

9.6 the white rabbit: wish that this place dint disappoint so much but it did. it started off so well cos all 6.5 of us were able to make it. its been a while since we all got together. and it was a lunch for jamesi who just turned a yr older the day before. he had the table under his pen name james ford which sounded so cute already. and white rabbit- somehow this name conjures up other images for us. a 1pm reservation with pple turning up at 130, 145, 215, 230. food was ordered. supposedly "fresh take on classic european comfort food"- dont think the dishes made it. salad was fine, the dressing a bit too oily for my liking. smoked salmon eggs benedict- really bad. the hollandaise sauce was non-existent, the smoked salmon portion pathetic. marinara seafood pasta was good at least but it not difficult to make good pasta right? just lotsa of sauce and make sure the pasta is not starchy. not sure if the tays enjoyed theirs. had to wait for the princess to arrive to order our wine. picked something that had run out. the white that we picked in the end came unchilled. she had the mac and cheese, which is their signature dish, was inedible according to her. i cautioned against ordering that cos i do not know of many places that make good ones. you usualy make the best mac and cheese at home.

place was nice. dempsey location. converted from an old chapel. lots of space for shannon to run around. wooden floor with high ceiling. this seemed to be my kind of place at the moment. ever since back home, i hate air-conditioned places. i would feel suffocated.

i just cant bring myself to like her

i cant explain why but whenever he mentions his gf, i just feel nauseous and disgusted and want to switch off her image just so that i can get over the disgust. i simply dont like her. i dont hate her but i dont like her. and i cant imagine liking her nor can i conjure much motivation to try think something sweet and pretty about her. i dont want to be in her presence; the thought of her coming over makes me want to run far away. if not possible, i ll stay in my room and not want to breathe in the same air as her. why is this happening? why is she invoking such reactions from my body?

f1

i love round things

my favorite picture from grand prix f1 in singapore. my brother is a better photographer than me. somehow i am not able to capture nice shot of him but he has done a few good ones of me.

its a secretive world

im surrounded by people who say the following-
"let me tell you a secret. promise that you keep it to yourself."
"whatever we say stays at the table ok?? they are secrets."

well, i definitely want to be in the loop and i want to be everyone's best friend so that i can get them to confide in me. and well, i am a really good confidante so far. i have promised not to divulge the so-called secrets and i have been a really good girl by keeping them to myself for years, till the secretive period expires.

but what a stupid word this "secret" is. how can you tell somebody a secret? this sentence is oxymoronic. the free dictionary has defined it as "Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed". so what is the point of inventing this word "secret"?

anyway, its tiring to look secretive and promise to keep secrets and act all curious and interested. dont remember having to be so in nyc. is it the change in location? are pple here all like that or what?

i remembered that newyorkers were pretentious people but the funny thing is, i felt i could just be the way i want to be, just the way i want to act and behave and think. dint have to conform to expectations nor to norms nor to opinions. a few good liberating years.

me and my credit cards

not sure what im trying to hold back by keeping my us credit cards
its so troublesome having to change the mailing address
cant do it online, have to call the people
now that they are changed, i cant exactly do online shopping eg itunes store, cos the billing address is no longer an US one! wtf i feel so dumb. loooks like i have to call to cancel since they are useless.

i thought accountants have superb organizational skills.

the dream that flopped

havent been sleeping well. apparently two nights ago, i was screaming in my sleep/dream and scared my brother but i dont recall him running into my room and screaming away. this morning i woke up from my nightmare/dream. well, it was someone that i have been thinking about recently. perhaps i have a real deep burning desire inside me that wants to see him thus the dream, which was more of a nightmare. the dream seemed to take place right before i was to wake up becos i woke up at 640am from fright of the images. i was crossed- both with the fact that it wasnt much of a sweet dream-come-true thingy and i was supposed to be going for my run at 615am.

damnit. i have to control my thoughts. no more thoughts of him so that i dont get such nightmares. but then if no more thoughts, then i have nothing to look forward to.

just a thought

luckily the link to my old blog still works. while re-reading them, i was able to recollect my earlier days in nyc. it wasnt a bed of roses. my working life after ey certainly looked so much better; however, i got real bored with too much time subsequently in ms. im such a contradictory bitch.

for the past few days, im trying my best to start skipping again. in fact i did. i skipped twice on my way to the printer to pick up my print-outs. well, its not too far a walk. probably some 15 steps? i skipped twice. dont think anyone noticed me but i wasnt concerned about that. i will just laugh it off.

the thinking is that i need to feel happy because i dont want to grow old being a dull and miserable person. i think i ll just keep this mentality for now, not that i had any life-changing event that shook me. maybe its the book im reading- mother teresa, come by my light. it is a powerful reading for me. i cant fanthom the deepness of her faith in god. many atimes, tears welled up in my eyes. maybe loneliness is a cross that i have to carry. well, i shldnt sentence myself just like that. afterall, i havent made any effort to improve things. i guess i want to think that i have god with me end of the day.

something that im still trying to adjust. i was blessed with churches near to me in nyc.- st paul was 2 streets from my 57th st apartment; another church 5 min away while i was in ey; st peter's 2 blocks away from ms too; a 15 min walk to lady of carmel after i moved to astoria. i had the luxury to just go for lunchtime masses. when i needed some quiet time, i ll just pop by the church. and i always found god there. i love those times that i cld just hang around and pray after sunday mass. now that im home, things are not so. there isnt any church near to boc building. lunchtime masses seem unheard of. only evening ones at 6ish- gee the priests obviously dont have working crowd in mind.

i want to be able to shout LIFE IS GOOD. that was mitul's motto. wonder how he is doing. last heard, he was back in india and getting married. he invited me but dint follow up with him. met up with rk today. had many many hugs. saw xq last thursday. had many hugs too. i love my old friends. there are more generous with hugs. haha

asians vs westerns

most of the people in my company are married. the conversations that we have revolved around family lives. dont get me wrong- im not bored. its nice to hear them talk about their kids and im envious how they are able to handle both work and family.

there was an extra pair of movie passes for the black knight last sat. i asked around a few people in the company. one of them lamented that its been a loooooong while since she last caught a movie- probably >2 years, ever since her kid was borned. i know of another person who was going to go with her husband. she has 2 kids and one of them is <1 year old. she has told me before sat is always a day out, with her husband (minus kids) and friends, while sun is a day with her children. she is not asian. the first lady i mentioned is asian.

another coworker will go out and chill with her friends on a weekday after work, at least once a week, or she has dinner plans at least once a week too- either with friends or with hubby. she is not asian either. she has a young boy, 3 years old i think.

cant help but note the difference in mentality.

i miss wholefoods

its simply impossible to have my supply of organic food here. the prices are rip-offs. a 1/2 quart of organic valley costs S$8.50 (!!!) while it costs US$3. i guess they have come a long way from the US. i saw my favorite brand of yogurt and it costs S$3 (!!!) while it was only a mere US$1. goodness gracious right?!!! i was willing to fork out for the yogurt but they dint have my flavors- vanilla or lemon so oh well..
sigh. i did buy the earthbound organic baby spinach that cost S$6.50 for a clam-shell box while it would have cost < US$4.

rika asked what i want from ny. now i know what to tell her- can you bring wholefoods to me?

train rides

this morning on the train, someone was chewing a gum. i think he was, dint look at him because he was making some really loud chewing sounds. just imagine it- rather gross and certainly obnoxious. sigh. a good thing was that this helped me to pass through yet another mundance train ride. the part from JE to bouna vista is the worst- very long. the human flow is the highest too, largely due to the connecting train from bt batok.

maybe this is why ive yet to look forward to coming in to work. the train rides always kill me. no eye candies in sight, unlike in ny, everyone takes the subway so easily, there are plenty of sights. even an average john doe is more exciting than a good-looking local.

bikes

i say this is a new sighting. many people are biking around to get to places. and more often than not, they the the chinese who are on those bikes. you know, chinese as in nationality= chinese, those kind.

so you will hear Rrrrrrr Rrrrrr from behind. this gets on my nerves. i dont think the sidewalks in singapore are made for humans and bikes. they are way too narrow. however, these bikers seem to think they have the way of right. of course everyone gives way to them for them to pass- they either have to move to the side, or stop just so these things can pass. many atimes, im so tempted to not do that but ive yet to make that irrational act.

maybe its just me who is being over-bearing right now so anything gets on my nerves. but maybe its this patriotic feeling brewing in me. i hate it that outsiders are transforming my country into something else. i have nv seen bikes ard, unless im in ecp. think of images of tiananmen- sights of millions of bikes. that s what i mean.

when i visited lily, i was actually biking around. however, there are markings on the sidewalks for bikes. and i remembered her saying that germans are very polite- they will give way to bikers. can i just say they have come a long way, and also, cos its rightfully so since part of the sidewalks are really designated for bikers. but not so (or not yet) for my country.

im over-bearing

i know i am. and i cant help it. and im not trying to change either.

its not even a struggle. id rather walk away and not deal with it for now. no one has to deal with me. i dont have to accommodate.

i get annoyed when people brush against me on the train. seriously annoyed. its as if my skin will break out in rashes and the hair on my arm will drop off. what if there is actually something wrong with my skin that im not aware of since im so overly sensitive to touches of strangers.

there are some other stuff that was floating around but i cant remember.

it is interesting to have all these down now. when i read them again a year from now, i hope that i will give a loud sigh- you were so silly!

introduction to myself

we have a quarterly newsletter and the new hires have to contribute an article about themselves. well, not a full page advertisement but well, describe yourself. i hate things like that. i never really know what to say, how to say; if i should sound like a typical someone, or try to sound funny and write like you are someone else. it is really not the simplest thing to do when you have to "write something about yourself". darn. it still has to be done. i was just only whining. ok so i have written something. i hope im not sounding artificial. just some random thoughts.

I will try to do justice to this space that I am given. Ahem - this is how it all began - Once upon a time,...

I am born and raised in Singapore. One day, New York came knocking on my door. I lived NY the way I had imagined it to be – working hard (unfortunately), jogging in Central Park (truly amazing), checking out restaurants (and ticking off Zagat top-50 list), going to the operas (just like in Pretty Woman), walking down the streets and appreciating the sights of beautiful people (the grid system is such a brilliant idea) or simply standing in Rockefeller Center and breathing in the air. I am sounding so self-absorbed in the life I have created for myself. Not really. I went on a mission trip to an orphanage in Nicaragua. I witnessed lives in a dump- yes people were living in “a place where refuse is dumped”. I learnt what humility means. I began to understand (more) that life is a little more than ____. Times went by and when I finally decided to kick my addiction to NY, I searched for a job back home and found ___. It felt like a perfect match. I look forward to more good times and of course, hard work (to be politically correct, heh, just kidding).

thoughts

3 weeks back and im not happy. well not that it s not unexpected but i know how life in spore will be like. there are changes from 3 years ago. the landscape and certain friends. but the root to things is my family. so its all familiar- the house, the mess, the non-access, the incovenience, the home-cooked meals,...

i posed this question to my mum today- will you be ok if i move out on my own? she said, for what? save that money. well, i pressed on and said, your disapproval is only the monetary concern? you dont care what the relatives will care (i dont care obviously)? she kinda nodded.
not that i want to move out but i hate the location. its too inconvenient. im at home now cos im too lazy to go out but im thinking if im living somewhere nearer to town, i wont be so bummed.

i dont know. sporean way of things- how true is that? am i really different or im just being bullshit. i dont want to conform. i want to be myself but i have to ease in to "the sporean way of things" right? ahh going in circles. so what can i do? the straits times did a report on returned overseas sporeans in spore. well most people have stayed out for >10 years. i think they will have so many more issues than me. and for the large part, most moved back because of their "aging parents". well, that s me too. seemed like there is no compromise in that aspect for me. my parents are here so to be with them, i have to be here. grace breathe grace. stop thinking of escaping. you were getting sick of nyc anyway. not that i dint like that place anymore but i was getting lonely.

blogging from singapore

this is my first entry since i have moved home. im still adapting. this is my second week home. i spent the first week almost entirely at home with my mum which was good. quality time.

so this week, i have started work. the real life has just begun right? im like a mouse getting lost in the maze right now. the cbd is kinda being transformed. new buildings, new underground shops, ie more conformity, overpopulation, sunny, ie heat rashes for me, ..

so im trying to set up a routine for myself. and i need to get a new hp, credit card(s), bank account(s), gym membership, shoes, cable, organic food.. strange that i feel so lost at home. things are not too real at the moment. somehow i still see images/scenes from ny, then i ll slap myself back to reality saying, gee that s not an image from singapore, where am i, ooooh, im in singapore now. its really very strange.

and there are no more eye candies. not one single cutie in sight. not one.
and the women- let me give them some credit. all of them take the effort to dress up (unlike me, with no make-up)- the perfect hair/curls, the perfect dress, the skinny frame, the try-hard-to-look-cute look. but atlas, they all look the same. bt and i were going to the restroom outside kino in ngee ann city. out came 3 gals. after they passed us, i grabbed bt and exclaimed- OMG! they looked the same!!!! its a shame. why are they conforming to a certain look?? seriously, im dying. well i think im comparing things to ny but bt and suzy knew what i was talking about. their advice for me- get used to it. this is sg.

i should write while such things are invoking strong reactions from me right now.

5.18 Yankee v Mets

jeter batting in this shot. im glad i finally caught the yankees live in action. and they were playing the mets that weekend. double joy. needless to say, the experience was electrifying, though they lost 11-2.

5.13 LES

if you ask me- which is the part of nyc that you ll miss most, i ll shout out "LES"!!! i fell in love with this part of nyc when i realized that the brunch places that i picked seemed to be located in this area. LES has a flavor of nyc that cant be found in other parts of the city. the people hanging ard are "weird". the buildings are all very old but so pretty. as i walked along, i couldnt help but take many many pictures. after a while, i decided that i should just "breathe in the air and take it all in". yea, they are part of "my precious memories" comparment in my brain now.

5.13 Hummus place

i love hummus. i love to eat them with stacy's pita chips. went to this place with bobby. was so good. wonder where in spore will i be able to get such stuff.

5.13 Wicked

im so glad that i i managed to tick this off my list. this is one musical that had a real story. not one of those "make it big" or "feel good" broadway show.

5.12 jean georges

there are so many must-try restaurants in nyc and one good (and affordable) way to go about doing it is going for prix fixe lunches. well you dont get the best of what they have, however, if you are lucky, many of them actually have their signature dishes as part of their prix fixe. part of my restaurant hunting is also to check out the place, the ambience and their toilets haha. i picked this french place with mabel. the soupe was great but my entree was lacking and the dessert as above was pretty much the same as many others that i have been to. however, i had a lot of fun taking pictures outside the restaurant. another restaurant that i could check off my zagat guide.

5.12 Guggenheim Museum

Finally got my asse to this museum. unbelievable that a museum freak like me did not check out this place for the whole time i was in nyc. and i picked a crazy day to go. it was pouring on this monday morning and naturally tourists flocked to indoor places, ie museums. luckily, my coporate pass came to my rescue. i did not have to stand in line for a minute and got in quickly. i was definitely taken in by the structure of the building and the special exhibition that was going on was really very captivating- Cai Guo-Qiang: I want to Believe.
i liked it so much that i returned on sat with the herrings.

5.11 Brooklyn with Marion

We were in Park Slope area in Brooklyn. Marion's grandma used to live there so she knows the area very well. For one, i know that that area is known for the rows and rows of townhouses. marion even brought me to the one that her granny used to live in. she kinda teared when she was telling me stories about her. we had italian at ai di la which was great great great. got a treat from her too.

5.10 nyc sighting

this bizarre thing that we did- i can only imagine doing it in nyc. after my good friends got to know that i was living off my couch, they decided to move their spare mattress to my place. of course, it was becos of the imminent visit of my cousin and baby. if not, i probably wldnt care less. i couldnt stop laughing while carrying the mattress so tt had to take over. she is stronger than me too haha. we got looks from passerbys and some were grinning. i hoped that my friends took another route home.

5.9 the back room

i brought cw to this bar, the back room. the experience lies in the journey there. for a minute, he really thought that i was going to bring him to a place to get fixes (ie drugs). he loved the place. we were the only ones there, at 8pm. i told him to get whatever drinks for me. he got me a mojito which they served in a teacup, complete with saucer. his mug was in a cylinder clay container with no handle. how cool eh.

5.8 central park run

the weather was finally kind and i went for my first run in central park this year. how i relish the run and the memories of my manhattanite days. these i know will stay with me forever. since i have moved to astoria, whenever i have the itch to run in the park, i will have to take the train to 5th ave. imagine the amount of motivation needed to do that. i have tried jogging in astoria park a few times and i dont really like it. oh well, you will only understand me after you have run in central park.

5.7 nyc sighting

i was walking along 24th street i think, on my way to tia pol to meet lily and marcel for dinner. dont you love these structures. they are the old-fashioned fire escape stairways. the walkups in the ancient buildings of nyc have unimaginable narrow and unstable stairways. however, a studio in these kind of buildings can easily cost above $2k/mth depending on the location.

5.6 cora's crepe

this place had great crepes. needless to say, this is one of my favorite food. this one is in cambridge ontario. according to my cousin, the next nearest one is in toronto. the restaurant is very cute too.

5.4 First baseball game- LIVE

my first baseball game. i love the game but i have not been able to get anyone to watch a game at the stadium with me. my cousin and her hubby were kind to offer me this option. instead of going to the african safari zoo, which i wasnt too keen on, we headed to toronto to watch the blue jays play chicago white sox. they won 4-3.

5.3 My Matthew

this amazing picture of en-en that i captured.

we were waiting for the ice wine tour at the pellar estates in niagara.

4.30 last day

marla made my favorite dessert- cheesecake. of course, i had better ones before but this is home-made and her sincerity and kindness. i was definitely touched.

4.30 Lunch- Bouley

on 4.30 Wed, i had lunch at Bouley with CE. of course, it was another amazing meal and great company. she was being her very gracious self and she refused to go dutch. she took the bill which included a bottle of ____ white wine. if only i took down the name of the bottle becos it was so good and went very well with our cod fish.
the picture above is the entrance of the restaurant which greeted us. imagine the fragrance of the apples.

4.26 Brunch- Public

on 4.26 sat, I had brunch at public with yx. this was the place that i had longed to go and finally, i managed to check it out. it did not disappoint me at all. the food was very nicely done. it was the ambience more than anything else. and of course, with my fav eating bud- yx. i told her that but she denied it. but she had a great time too.

tasti D-Lite

on 4/22/08, i had tasti D-Lite.

the favor that i had was raspberry chocolate fudge.

not bad. this ice-cream is light like air so you dont get guilt-striken after finishing one. and of course i walked from 52nd and broadway to 59th and 5th ave which was a nice stroll. definitely hoped that burnt some calories. the website is at http://www.tastidlite.com/

walking in manhattan brought back memories of the first 2 years as a manhattanite. wouldnt exchange that for anything in the world. the energy of the people on the street- irrate people and pesky tourists, dogs on leashes rather than babies in strollers, skyscrappers smell, me in my own world while i walk down the streets.

snow

2nd snowfall for me in nyc for winter 08. was caught by surprise. while trying to balance in my high heeled boots, i looked up constantly to watch snow fall from above. it was a beautiful sight when the subway got above ground in astoria. all the buildings have a layer of white over it. fresh white snow feels fun and soft and unthreatening. life can get as beautiful as this.

this is what i will miss when i go home. im constantly thinking of home now because marmi is at home. but i think of what i will miss of ny when i leave, my heart aches. ny, how i love my life here. i know i ll shed tears on the day i leave here.

the point that i dont get involved emotionally with anyone here, because i dont belong here. i dont think it is an excuse. it is a very vaild point for me. im too emotional and the hurt would have been unbearable.

fasting

went for service on ash wednesday. the father gave a very good homily. he talked about fasting and how applicable it was to the american society, which is all about "dieting" and "blinging". in the perfect world with god, it will be fasting and feasting.

meaning behind fasting:
- hunger for god
- solitary with those without food

deflated

i do not wish that all my entries are lousy but somehow i dont share joy with my blog. seems to be an outlet for my woes and downs.

yesterday was such a bad day at work. i felt completely disheartened and let down by the pple i am working with, especially the guy at the top. well, maybe he doesnt think that i work with/for him since he hardly talks to me. he usu sends the msg to the other manager who will talk to me. i ll send my work to the manager who will send to him.

so when i was trashing out things with the so-called admin and support functions, he chose to shrug his shoulders and dint want to get involved. wtf. so having getting dinners from edine before i left for home and then busting my ass off the 2 days i was back, i was so f-ed off by the incident that i left early. no doubt partly i had a dinner appointment but maybe it was god-sent so that i can walk away from my work.

its tuff when different pple have different priorities and how much they are willing to put in. i think i have such strong job ownership and pride that i am willing to slough for it but sadly (or gladly for those), its not the same for everyone. so its really a mentality of suck it up and just do it kind of thing. that guy chose to walk away but it doesnt mean there is no deliverable for him at the end of the day. the job still has to get done (by me), but he doesnt care how- it will be nicely wrapped and presented to him.

so tell me, how motivated can i be when such things happen?

SO RESTLESS

really really restless
kept snacking
kept moving ard
drinking 2nd coffee
eating more
nature valley bar
m&m
small lunch
ahhhhhhhhhhhh

i over-worked from mon to thur and this is what usually happens on fri- totally unfunctional