back home, when the sky turns dark, my panic button will be switched on. fear will overcome me. fear of the darkness. fear that time is running out. fear of tomorrow. fear of the unknown. i ll run to marmi, i whine to her. she always knows how to soothe me.
i had that just now, for the first time that i could recall. and i was sobbing uncontrollably. i dint know what happened. i was going through the laptop, sorting documents to be written; going through lotus to forward mails. memories flooded me. i got scared, that things are getting real, that im really going to go at the end of the week. i looked out and it was gettting dimmer. the fear set in. i was alone. oh no, im really alone. i broke down.
i know i ll be going through this cycle countless times, at least for the remaining of the week. no matter how much advice and assurance im getting from friends, i am still scared.
haphazard hits random rumblings senseless sightings
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
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