flop

i got picked up at the Hudson last sat. chris and i were done with the dancing and we were just chilling out on the huge sofa outside the dance floor. she was telling me about her bf, that she thinks he s the one. as calm as she sounded, i think she was really happy and i was very happy for her too. so in the meanwhile, apparently someone was checking me out. he walked over and in a flash, he was sitting next to me and introduced himself to me and to chris (very politely so as not to sound abrupt- so he said). i dont know how he did it but he managed to get me to give him my number within 5 minutes. i have never done this before. i think the only reason was because i thought he was quite cute.

so we went out today. it was nice. he actually suggested going to 230 fifth, the place that i have been dying to check out. the rooftop was really cool- the night was so breezy and just imagine being surrounded by palm trees and skyscrappers, the empire state building which was right in front of your table. how cool eh.

so much about the atmosphere. i should be talking about my date right. my memory that night was serving me right. i remembered him being nicely built and i think that was why i gave him my number. indeed he is. nice broad shoulders, nice thick arms that fit really nicely ard my neck. he dressed to my liking too, with pointy shoes!

but it just dint work out. he asked if i ll go out with him again, i balked and stared at him. i guessed that was a good enough answer right?

he s prob not the one but i think its a confirmation of the state im in. im so scared to commit that i dont even want to date. i also know that going on a date is more than wine and dine- there s so much more laid out on the table and i dont want to go to the other side. i wished he dint try to kiss me so many times. i pushed him away and he made light of the situation by saying he was probably a bad kisser. how pathetic was that. i dint mean to be rude or mean or bad.