ash wednesday

today is ash wednesday. i was upset with myself for sleeping till 745am as i had wanted to attend the 730am service. nevertheless, i made it for the lunchtime mass.

it is of course not just about attending the service and walking around with the cross on my forehead. today is a day of fast and abstinence. but gee... its so hard to fast. normally, i can go without food for the day, when im not in the mood, or just swamped with work. but today, time seems to be ticking by real slowly and im just tempted by snacks from co-workers and dinner requests. ive just placed my order for dinner - veg with beancurd soup. hmm..

today marks the start of the lenten season. for the past 4 years, i have not been able to do what i would like to: attend the stations of the cross and spend more time reading the bible and praying. work has been the focus of the past years during this period, since its the busy season. so for this year, im not sure how i can make it for the stations of the cross on fridays at 5pm.

its weird that while typing this out, saying how it cant be done and blah. but the back of my mind is simply shouting: IT CAN BE DONE! IT IS UP TO YOURSELF TO MAKE THE DECISION. i am quite a weakling, have to admit. never thought that i m like that, not going for things that my heart is yearning for.

erm. so grace, what s your decision?