value life

 
cant help but have a take on this. isnt this signage scary to read? 

2005 and 2006

 
2005 ended with checking out leo's and car's new place. very banyang-tree resort feeeling, very nice and cosy.

2006 dint exactly start on a bright note. spore is small but staying in jurong makes going around really inconvenient. the family has upgraded to taking cabs when making family trips to places. but atlas, there wasnt any cab after a long wait. the drama that followed was very familiar; useless brother would be swearing and blaming everyone apart from himself; marmi would be praying for a miracle so that peace could be restored; dad would be making unhelpful comments. i was staring into space, breathing in the fresh crisp morning air, enjoying the scenary.

i definitely have issues with my brother. really hate the fact that he likes to blame others for things that dont go smoothly. he s such a whiner, not a problem-solver. crap. cant he just keep his mouth shut? 

reminder

attended a wake today. the death was sudden; no symptons or signs. he s the dad of a fellow sporean co-worker in ny so he flew back on receiving the news.

i hate news like that. lousy news. reminder for everyone to love those who love you; to love yourself. cos you do not know when the Lord will come knocking on the door.

i have this slip in my wallet that reads:
"Always and everywhere, a person should aim to live as if God was visibly present" ~ Saint Bonaventure

Indeed.

curls

 
they are so bouncy that it is fun to play with them. cant wait to put on my beanies. hopefully this solves the issue of flat hair during winter. 

craving #5: satisfied

 
not sure when i fell in love with dragonfruits. they are damn expensive in ny, so i havent had them in a while. they are a great help in my constipation issues. 

craving #4: satisfied

 
i dislike coconut milk and all products made of it. however this 9 layered keuh is an all-time favorite of mine.

is my life as colorful as it is? truly it is. im counting my blessings every moment, however small they are. 

craving #3: satisfied

 
heh makes a yummy christmas breakfast. i love it best with sugar, or even on its own. roti prata! 

craving #2: satisfied

daddy's style... yum

heh all these were consumed in the span of one morning, not to mention that i had bread with belgium chocolate and hazelnut spread and milk, a kopitiam-style kopi, one packet of carrot cake and followed by yong tau fu.

carrot cake

cant resist a second take on my favorite food.

calories skyrocketing!!!

craving #1: satisfied

carrot cake is my first love yum

waiting game

this was me bored at jfk. due to the strike, i tried to beat the traffic and got the shuttle to pick me up before 6, thus reaching the airport at 7 and waited for the next 4 hours for my flight.

great that the strike is finally over. it dint affect me since i could walk to work. gave me a nice excuse to go in late. 

gana sai

Grace S. Lim gana sai
Grace S. Lim just feel like swearing
Grace S. Lim how come so many comments for the narratives
Grace S. Lim they are all documented by himself last year
Grace S. Lim i improved them already!!!
Grace S. Lim gana sai
Bobby C. Tan hmm.... that means he's not good enuff rite? ;)
Grace S. Lim gana sai
Grace S. Lim damn sick
Grace S. Lim and his section, he asked me to update
Bobby C. Tan okie okie.... i then curse and swear...
Grace S. Lim as in he asked me to amend for him
Grace S. Lim there s MINIMAL comments for himself
Grace S. Lim gana sai
Grace S. Lim gana sai

good deed directly

went crazy shopping today, however not for myself. while taking the bus home, i got a seat and an old lady got up subsequently. she was using a cane and carrying a macy's bag. once she got on, she declared that she didnt need a seat cos she was getting off at the next stop. however, i stood up and offered her my seat. she smiled and sat down.

we got off at the same stop. while waiting to get off, she whispered to me, "thank you and thank your mum for teaching you such good manners." i whispered back, " i know... i love her."

good deed indirectly

i did a good deed, indirectly. lina bought a beef dinner for me. i dont like beef so i rejected it. on her way home, in the subway, a man was asking for food. so lina gave that dinner away. she commented that he ate away happily.

one up for grace :)

initiative

i always play this game with my brodie when we were younger. see who will carve in first. for e.g., if we quarrel and have a cold war, i wont want to talk to him till he talks to me first. and i think i almost always win.

fast foward 20 years later. but its not in relation to my brodie but with friends now. you know how sometimes you can be on msn the whole day but no one will talk to you. i dont think it s due to the fact that i am a miserable loner. but are friends playing the waiting game? like what i played with my brodie when we were young?

i dont like to have to try hard for things to work out. i can be nice and try for several times. like i ll take the initiative to ask about your day, ask how you are getting by lately. but if its going to be a one-way traffic, fuck off then. i will stop wasting your time.

there are also those friends who will only msg you with favors. on one hand, you can feel honored that they thought of you. on the flip side, just think that you are being made use of. like how t will almost only msg me when she needs favors. if not i wont hear from her.

head is aching from work!!!

tired

im so tired from working. worked the whole weekend. sat was 10am to 430pm, then 12am to 230am. sun was 130pm to 730pm. doesnt seem a lot but i feel so burnt out now. so today, im not functioning at all.

and i think i may have turned dumber. somehow i dont seem to be able to get work done on time for the different people. im so tired that i just want to walk out of office now. how now brown cow?

you know sometimes i miss you so much that i can barely stand it

~ jack twist, brokeback mountain

pile of shit

when i saw him again tonight after a long while, its the same feeling that i got previously. but ive become really good at hiding my emotions. at the highest level now. i can act non-chalent about things but its turmoil inside me. just like when i become dis-interested in things/ conversations, i can still look very attentive and engaged when i have totally switched off.

its just a weird feeling to have. he s not anyone dashing; pretty normal guy. but somehow, he attracts me. sad thing is that i dont see anyone, who is un-attached, like him around me. big sigh. i only know that i should stay away from him.

its a working weekend. happened to be following the blog of someone whom i was working for but have since left the company. he s very meticulous in keeping his blog, just falling short of updating the whole world about his interesting life each minute. so he s kinda leading a high life now; new career, fine dining, checking out cool places. on the flip side, i ll look at the 3 people, including me, taking over the engagement that he did not wrap up prior to leaving the firm. people who are clearing shit (that he left behind) till past midnight, burning weekends while he s checking out the colorful nyc.

im not sure, but he sure does put things into perspective for me. wat the fuck am i working so hard for???

socialized

i dont like to socialize in pubs and make small talks with strangers that i wont keep in touch with. just a waste of time and money. and now while waiting for my hair to dry at 138am in the morning, im just sulking away, thinking of the tons of shit that awaits me. it will really have to be my last busy season. i need to have a more balanced lifestyle because this job is screwing up my life totally.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Even when they are apart, they face the eternal questions of fidelity, commitment, and trust. Ultimately, the one constant in their lives is a force of nature – love.

I cant wait to watch this show.

SNOW

woah its finally fast and furious snow here!!!

if only its sat, i ll make my way to the central park to have a snowball fight.

life is like a box of sugar

was really intrigued by this container of sugar at babbo. there are cubes of white sugar, grains of raw sugar, packets of equal and lastly, sticks coated with brown sugar.

babbo was amazing, didnt know that the texture of the pasta can be that ____. try imagining it. i cant find the right word for it. and it got to be one of my longest dinner to date- 3 hrs. and this was without any wine. 

2005 snow

so it is finally snowing in nyc. woke up and heard people "scrapping" the floor. so i peered out of my window and i was right. the streets were covered with snow. a bit disappointed cos i wanted to be out and catch the first drop of snow. that happened for last year, we caught the first drop of snow while shopping on boxing day on 5th ave.

let it snow, let it snow. such a good excuse for me to not go in to office to work but tucked up nicely at home, but i wish i have someone who is impromptu enough like me to go out to play with the snow, at central park perhaps. 

perfect day

today is such a wonderful day.

i woke up at 7am and did work but i did not sulk cos i thought of all the activities lined up ahead.

first was to the gym with lily. the workout was great. the machine said that i burnt 503 calories. next we headed to clinton street baking company for brunch. i have decided that i was going to get their famous pancakes but while waiting, we were offered their pancakes, complete with its infamous warm maple butter. YUM. so i changed my mind and ordered buttermilk biscuit sandwich, and i could order my milkshake too, since it wouldnt have clashed with the sandwich, whilst it would have if i have the pancakes. YUM.

then it was retail theraphy. i swear i havent been shopping for a while and the famous (yet again) mistletoe which hangs across 5th ave is up. it was just unusually familiar cos i remembered that thing when i reached ny last year.

anyway, abercrombie & fitch has finally opened. we checked out the store, and of course, the salesMEN. gee... its not hard to notice that none of them is not a cutie. and i had the chance to be "hooking up" with one, according to lily. i needed him to check the stock for me. and its not new that this country is quite screwed up so the waiting time is just crap. while waiting, he initiated a conversation, which started as "so is it still cold out there?" poor cutie was so cold that he had no winter wear on his way to work today that he bought something to keep himself warm. apparently, he never had any warm coat, but layered his clothes during the winter and he gave whatever he had to his brother. gee. his name is reese.

headed next to barneys. well, i cant afford things from there, but lily wanted to see some stuff. and i chanced upon a pair of manolo blahnik that was slashed to $320! sigh, not fated to get them still cos the one on display is the last one and i dont think i shld be paying that much for something that others have checked out before, though it looked pretty decent.

so this has been my perfect day.

void

I know that it was going to be like this that s why i didnt allow myself to get close to him and kept a distance. it happened the very first time jia came by last new year. it took me a week to get over the fact that im alone, after she returned to london. subsequently, many friends visited and it was all fun and laughter to check out ny together. but i ll take a few days to adjust myself after they are gone. i hate the roller coaster rides that i have to take.

so lukas is gone now. and ting will be returning on sun, after which she will go home and i ll be by myself again. not that i am that generous with my time with them when they are around. but on the other hand, i know that im stopping myself to get attached to anyone so that i wont have to adjust.

i was touched and upset to see the bear on my bed. touched cos i didnt expect that. upset cos i regretted not doing more. im just so contradicting that i hate myself. but i like the bear, cos the ribbon is green and it has red polka dots! im this superficial.