tangled up and so the call came on sat. he called to say hello. have not talked to him on the phone for 2 weeks i think. though there were msges everyday, just hi and whatever, nothing memorable. i just woke up from a nap, wasnt functioning properly. dint know what to say, so i said, oh that s nice of you. he: im not trying to be nice, i called to say hello. have not heard from you and thought that you were avoiding me. erm ok. what am i to think of that? i wasnt avoiding you, you were freaking busy that i thought its better that i stay away. then i got direct and said: when do i see you next? think i was really blurry. not sure why i said that. anyway, its this jul 4th weekend. sigh its in a mess. i wish its not so hard. why is it so not easy? is it bad timing? i dont think its me. he s just so freaking busy but then again, if i were in his position, i think i ll try to make time if i have this person in my priority. so im concluding that im not his priority. ouch! it hurts to come to this kind of conclusion myself. that s why i dont know what to do. i dont want to try too hard. actually i dont even try now cos i cant understand him. i wasnt doing too well for that 2 weeks and the call came and it ended the misery. but i may have to start counting again. wtf. nothing is smooth. june is bad. maybe july will be better for me.
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