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i think it will get better for me the more often we meet up. work is not fun. trying to breathe it all in and not sigh. but sigh, not too happy right. how will it end. how is it going to last. what is there to look forward to. all the stuff outside of work, they are not making me happy. they are prolonging my existence. sounding very depressed. what is wrong? think i rather feel angry and then happy. now im just emotional-less