....

so his gf is coming this thurs and he asked if want to do group dinner on fri. i asked where. he said chinatown, since its a big group. silly me started to take charge again. why ct?? so i researched a few places for him. im feeling so lousy now. wish that im not doing this to myself- telling him to go here or there cos the place is cute, nice brunch and blah, giving him all sorts of suggestions where he can bring her. why am i doing this??

anyways, i dint say i was going to go or not. he probably assumed that im going since i shot him so many places. i think, well i think i ll do it.. i probably wont turn up on fri. i dont want to pretend im enjoying the dinner while im actually there just because im breathing and existing.

ya im breathing and existing. kill me..