knob-less door

~ william holman hunt-light of the world ~

he is always standing at the exit of the subway station. i have forgotten about him cos i have started walking to work. but today, i was totally color-uncoordinated and wearing a mis-matched outfit- try imagining pants that do not reach the ankle, with a pair of sneakers and black socks *puke* this is always me when i come from gym. its such a hassle to carry another pair of shoes. thus i took the subway, since i was too ugly to parade myself around. luckily, i dint meet anyone cute on the way..

oh back to the old man. so i saw him again. actually i have never looked at him in his eyes. being short-sighted, when i exit, i could see him standing by the stairs, with his right hand out-stretched. guess he is begging. i may just feel better if i give him some money but not sure what im held back by. somehow, i feel that if i give in to these instances, im letting others take advantage of my kindness, no matter how nominal the sum is. but he s only an old man. guess this is why im all guilty and blogging now. and today, i was really guilt-striken. when i walked past him, sub-consciously lowering my head, a thought flashed through: what if this is jesus reaching out? why am i walking away like that?

i have loved this picture cos it spoke to me so much the first time i saw it. i googled it and found it. jesus is knocking on the door and he is not able to get to us, not because he is not trying hard enough but there is no door knob for him to try to open the door. food for thought.