nothing has changed. no idea why i thought that things at home would have changed in my absence. actually im being irresponsible and walking away, hoping that things that i dislike will be changed. he still doesnt use the washing machine to wash clothes. he still wakes up in the middle of the night to wash them. does he know that it hurts me a lot to see him do that? but im not filial enough to take some actions for things to improve. the only thing that i ever did was to watch him and clown around for 2 mins; fruitless efforts to wake him up from his slumber so that he can get the chores done and have a better rest then. that s about it. fixed idea that hand-washing is cleaner than machine-operated wash, something that i am not able to change. she continues to entertain the endless calls from the shop when she is not at the stop. she has literally sold her soul to the shop. this isnt something that she doesnt know cos i have endlessly shouted and screamed at her for doing something that isnt worth it at all. those people are useless and dumb, pardon me for my harshness but when i have to pick up their calls, i ll answer curtly, she s not in, and slam down the phone. wtf. why cant they just disappear from the surface of the earth, unless they can make themselves more usefel. parasites and leeches, scram. cant deal.
somehow my hands are tied. or perhaps i have not tried harder to make life easier for them. i dunno. are they truly happy? im not really sure. they have pinned all their hopes on us so their lives do not matter any more. or perhaps they are simple people and they can and are willing to take hardships cos in the first place, it s no big deal to them.
its sickening to think further cos nothing will change the situation, not at least in the near future. nothing in today's recruit attracted me to lure me back home.
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