Day 4 without LK: 6.20

i slept in, woke up close to 11am. its been a while since i last slept in so i was feeling happy about it.

the night before i was checking out his albums on fb for the first time. in the past the cat in me would have want to find out all things about the guy im dating. im thinking perhaps im cooler now that im older meaning more mature and able to take things in my stride. anyway it was fun checking out the pictures. many nice ones. then i saw those pictures from his past. not sure how to think. couldnt exactly control the sour feeling that i got. swallowed hard. hahah perhaps if he was in town then, i would have called him at 1ish in the morning to "talk about it". nah i think im cooler than that.

i dont exactly know how to handle such things. how do you handle these things from the past. do i have the right to demand him to erase his past. even if so, its only erased from fb not the facts. the shots were seemingly and ghostly familiar. how he s taking shots of me now, i cld imagine him doing that of her. that felt lousy. so i wasnt that special afterall. the night turned bleaker from that moment. i dint want to turn to this thought but was i a replacement for the past.