political moves

this world is so complicating. each move that i take, i have to think of the many consequences that can happen. so i have successfully pushed away one engagement. at the very start, i could never have pulled things off with 3 engagements but i thought 'well, guess i can do it'. but

• 1st politically correct move: let the whole world know that you have too much on your plate, that it was after much persuaion that you are taking it on. i did it subtly cos it not me to be a loud person.

however, things were so screwed that stuff at other engagements spilt over and blah thus i never did much for this 3rd engagement, though i dabbled in it to have to be responsible for it. no idea why i was a cry baby yesterday and that was also the final straw. so this morning, i told the manager, no, im sorry i really cant cope.

• 2nd politically correct move: i tried, though its never enough cos at the end of the day, its the deliverables that count and not the process.

so i thought really really hard. cos there s just so much implications. the deadline is end of the week and im screwing them up by saying i cant do it now. so either the partner is going to think fuck this bitch or he ll write all these things off and get a replacement, with his sight on finishing things and nothing else. im not sure how he thinks. he s infuential i was told. so guess i really did screw myself up.

next the engagement with things that spilt over, the s. manager wants to talk to me, of course. he wants to know how things were brought across cos he wouldnt want them to think that he s snatching staff away from others and that he s mis-managing his own engagement and thus,...

see working life is just full of shit and politically correct moves. i hate it. why cant i just be left alone to do my work?